(Inspired by Philippians 4:12)
My conversation on infertility is a conversation of “being without”. As Christians, we carry the truth within us that God is a provider. That no good thing will he withhold from them that walk upright. We know him to be Jireh. The question is, what happens when you are praying and seeking for provision and do not receive it? What happens when you do all you know is right and yet, he does not give you that child or whatever the need may be in your life.
It’s not only you and I who asked for something from God and did not receive. The great Apostle Paul talks about moments of him living in hunger. He was “without”. Was God angry at him? Was he praying less? Was he cursed? Was it as a result of sin in his life? No! He was faithful to the call of God and yet he experienced a season of lack. He then recites this to the Philippians in the book of Philippians 4:12
“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little”.
In my journey of struggling with infertility in my marriage, I developed a wrong perception about God and about my place in God. This was propelled the more by the comments one receives from society. Others started to accuse me of having done abortion before. A little conflict with anyone would result in me being told, “That’s why you are not getting pregnant”. I then saw God as the one who is readily punishing me or looking for any reason to punish me, because lack of something essential on a Christian is somewhat purported as punishment.
We also see this from the story of Jesus in the synagogue, when he encounters a Man born blind in John 9. His disciples immediately make a verdict that “Someone Sinned”. They asked Jesus a leading question and said, “Who sinned? Him or his parents”. To them, your lack is a reflection of your sin.
Today’s society carries the same notion. But Jesus says, neither of them sinned. Our God is the God who makes the sun to shine on the wicked and on the good. He is not going about punishing people by closing their wombs. There are going to be moments in your life where you will live “without”. At times you will have no answers. At times, you may get answers later. God’s promises may be delayed in your life. Throughout those moments, Apostle Paul teaches us to learn how to live in all circumstances.
Firstly, to learn how to live without, you need to stop knowing God according to people and begin to know him according to your own encounter. In a world flooded with opinionated people, God will be unstable, unreliable and even moody if your knowledge of him is solely based on someone else’s opinion, because they themselves are unstable, so they will present to you an unstable God.
- When I went back to the drawing board and decided to shut down all the noise, and read my bible and prayed, God presented himself to me. He told me that he is Love. He told me that He cares. Like Paul, I did not receive a child, so I was still “without” but i received the truth that makes me to live today. He told me that he is a God of times and seasons. He told me that in abundance and in lack, he is still my Father and therefore I have the ability to do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Secondly, in order to live without, you need to walk in forgiveness and Love. The derogatory comments you encounter from people, may live you with the spirit of bitterness and vengeance. The trouble is that the Holy Spirit is not able to function effectively in a heart filled with hate. You have a duty to work on yourself. Even though you are not the one who brought the negative energy to yourself, by a mere fact that it has been handed to you by the world, you are accountable to repel it. Love and forgiveness is an art, which can be mastered through 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
To know how to live is to know God & to walk in love